Different Hats

Once upon a time I used to hate school. All of it. Middle into high school just sucked for me and eventually, a month before graduation day, I quit. I had already been set up with my first job and so I made this decision to just give up and work as a professional house cleaner for the next ten years or so. You know what, probably even longer than that.

Eventually I got a GED after passing the high school equivalency test. About a year or so after I dropped out. Then two years later I decided that I wanted to be a bartender, out of the blue. I went to this place where they teach you how to make fancy drinks and cocktails, shake a shaker, tap a keg, customer service loving, and etc. I got a license to tend the bar and I was pretty proud of myself for something so small. It made me believe that maybe I can finish the things I’ve started, instead of just giving up like a baby.

So after leaving high school I became a professional house cleaner Monday through Friday, and on Saturday’s I was a bartender at a bowling alley. I had some of the best times of my life working as a bartender and met some wonderful people. I also let alcohol get the best of me at times and let myself get carried away without thinking of the consequences.

This was my reality for a few years and I made the best out of it. I have no problem working low-end or hard labor jobs because you can learn a lot from those type of jobs. I know I did.

And then I met the father of my future child, at a bar, and we clicked. Five months later I find out that I am pregnant with our first child together, shocking but as expected when your irresponsible. But it was the greatest blessing that changed our lives, we planned accordingly and did all the things you do when you have the first baby.

The first time that I ever saw my son’s face was so magical – he was so small and full of pure innocence and it’s just such an incredible experience that I’m so proud to be a mother.

From that moment on I knew I needed to do all that I could for him and give him the best life as possible. I quit my bartending job and started a cleaning service with my mom, we did quite well for a while until COVID took over the world and it changed our lives drastically.

We lost a good chunk of business during that time which led to us looking for new jobs. This was my first experience in life where I learned that anything can happen to anyone in life at any moment, and sometimes there isn’t much you can do until you can do better.

At this point in time of my life, I started reflecting on my choices and decisions that led me down this path and it got me thinking about college. I’ve been out of high school for years now and I never really tried to do the work while I was there, I started to believe that maybe it is too late for me and I should of thought about this before it was too late.

One day I went online and started reading about financial aid, called my county college and asked what I needed to do before I enrolled in college. The first thing that I needed in my hands was my high school transcript and I had no idea how to get my hands on it. Fortunately enough, my old high school had directions on their website on how to obtain transcripts, I ordered three.

I never saw the grades I had in high school because I was barely there. I believe I had a total of 88 absences. Like I said, I barely even tried to apply myself to my studies and I had a better time hanging with friends and having a boyfriend.

But the college accepted me anyways and by that September I was officially a college student. I took classes part time and got the hang out of it pretty quick because, well, I applied myself! Then I got too cocky.

I passed four classes and then for some reason, out of the blue, I decided to apply to Universities for the hell of it. I wanted to see if I could really make it.

I’ve never cared about college before and had no idea about credits and how much you need to earn a degree.

I applied to a bunch of universities and got accepted to two universities. The one that I chose was a fancy private place called Drew University.

I was so blown away and extremely proud of myself, but like I said I got way too cocky. I wasn’t ready for it and at that time in my life I couldn’t sync the college schedule with my personal life and the problems I had, and so yet again I quit.

So I went on with my life – I experienced homelessness for about two months, lost all my possessions and had to start over, lost friends but learned how to appreciate being alone, had another beautiful baby, and repaired my mental health with therapy. I got my life together slowly and things started to feel okay again.

And then I got this crazy idea to give college another shot.

In the summer of 2024, I logged online to my old county college and reapplied again. This time I came back with fire in my eyes.

I changed my major and actually decided on something that could give me a good job someday – Information Technology.

September came around and ever since then I’ve been a college mommy.

I’m halfway through my Associate’s degree – a sentence that I never thought I would say (or type) before in my life.

I know to some people it’s no big deal and that I should of already had one at my age. But to me, this is a big step for me.

For the first time in my life I love school.

I’m a college student who’s in the right place now. Am I where I belong finally? All these times of failing before have I finally learned how to be successful in college? Maybe but let’s keep working harder.

At the end of the last semester I got an email from the Dean of my college letting me know that I made the Dean’s List thanks to all that hard work.

I’m a member of a society.

I have straight A’s and I push myself hard to earn them, not be lazy and just pass.

For the first time in my life, again, I am so proud of myself.

School is not for everyone. That is a lesson that I learned early in life and sometimes people don’t need education or a degree to live a successful life.

But I’m getting older in life and I want something new – a big girl job with a real degree in my hands. I want what I could have earned this whole time to feel complete.

I want my kids to grow up and learn that education is extremely important throughout life and you’ll never stop learning. I want them to watch me and learn from my mistakes so they can do the right things in the future.

I’ve got a ways to go before I graduate with a degree but I’m like 40% there. It’s going to take me some time as I have to move at a slow pace, but a slow degree is better than no degree.