Different Hats

Life is quite the journey. It’s unexpected. You never know what tomorrow will bring if it comes. This is how I feel ever single morning when I wake up.

I ask myself what could possibly happen today and usually I get what I asked for eventually. One might say that I am accustomed to chronic, unpleasant and chaotic situations that I’m starting to become more desensitized to my strenuous life.

Some people can totally understand this, and the other half just say “you did it to yourself” simply because it’s the standard conditioned response.

I’m going to call this Chapter Seven of my personal life. Why?

Well, I think it’s the perfect title to label it after going through my first bankruptcy.

I’m not proud of myself for having to go through with this experience, but I did totally learn my lesson from this and how to be a more responsible adult with credit. I do believe it is important to be open about it because it’s public, and maybe someone out there in the world who could be like me might read this and take note. Lord knows I wish I did but I wasn’t ready yet.

My twenties were spent somewhere in limbo between becoming a young adult woman and an immature backwoods party animal dumb ass. There was no financial advise from responsible adults, no discussions about going to college and starting a career. Where I am from here in New Jersey, people are considered working-class due to our sociological background. Not many parents went to college; don’t get me wrong we have a few of those families that did things the right way in life, but not many.

Most of the people that have found success in life here just got lucky. They had a parent who could financially support them, a job connection, inheritance from a grandparent. Not many people here can say that they did it themselves without help from anyone.

But something I’ve noticed about most of us up here is we know how to rack up them credit cards.

Throughout my twenties I met so many different people and I learned so much through experience, but still could not make the right decisions like a normal responsible adult. The immaturity spark inside of my body was still adding fuel to the fire waiting for the explosion to happen.

I was responsible enough to work two jobs, drive a car, not drink and drive, and not get arrested. I was very irresponsible with sex, my education, my self-esteem, and my OG credit cards.

The first time that I applied and was accepted for a credit card was magical. I felt like a real adult for the first time. It’s funny to type this now because I’m literally going through this process all over again thirteen years later, but this time MORE RESPONSIBLY.

But the problem the first time around when I was 20 years old and received my first credit card was I maxed it out pretty quick.

Not on random stuff, that comes later on, but originally for my teeth.

Yeah, I’m a child from the early 90s that unfortunately inherited bad teeth genes from my parents, and from a period in time when we had those silver fillings. My teeth were not the best as I transitioned to my teenage years, so I had some repairs to deal with down the road.

So I learned about my first root canal and the first $2,000 expense of it. What an experience that was, lol.

But because I was maxed out and did not want to wait for it to go down, I applied for another one.

You pay one down, you apply for another one, you think you got it in control.

So you apply for another one, a store card none the less.

And your doing great. Your building credit and making timely payments. They raise your limits and along with your ego.

So you go for another card.

As you can see, there is a toxic pattern constantly repeating itself and this how I ended up in trouble years later.

Let me think for a second and do a head count on the OG credit cards that I had by the time I was 25 years old: 3 capital one, 1 chase, 1 citibank, 1 kohls, 1 TJX, 2 synchrony bank, 1 bestbuy, and 1 more that I cannot remember and it’s going to bother me until I do. So total = 11.

Looking at this now and actually experiencing this much credit at a young age was incredible. I had WAY TOO MUCH.

The thing was at this time in my life, I was single and had no children yet so I could afford to live like this even though I really shouldn’t be.

And it all went down hill when COVID-19 happened. Lost a lot of our income immediately and just like that my life went down the drain.

I could not keep up with making payments, and eventually I let them go until it caught up with me.

I went through a lot while COVID-19 happened just like the rest of the world did. Some people made out successful from it and others, like myself, lost everything. Had to restart from scratch all over again and this time with more complicated life obstacles to deal with.

And so, dealing with that whole stressful situation for a few years led to my final destruction.

I let my cards go and wondered what in the hell was going to happen next. I was able to make some payments here and there, get back on track after a while, but I could just never make it work in my favor. I did that to myself by not being prepared from the beginning.

Most of them closed out, but the rest came to seek-and-destroy my ass. Understandable, of course.

It got to the point of being sued by one credit card company, and then slapped with my first ever bank levy, followed by multiple wage garnishments. Again, this was expected to happen, but I’m a first timer with this.

All of that legal action put me against a wall man. I tried the best that I could do, and I ultimately decided that it was time to throw in the towel and accept defeat.

I called a lawyer and requested a consultation to see what my options were to restart my life over. Turns out based on my personal situation I was eligible for a chapter 7 bankruptcy, so I said okay let’s just get this over with.

It cost about $1,800 to get started and required tons and tons and tons of paperwork and printing. I may have printed out close to 200 papers. After that, it was just basically waiting and corresponding back and forth until I was scheduled for a 341 meeting.

I was lucky enough to have a virtual appointment so I did not need to travel, and also that was a crazy experience. I did not know that I would be sharing a virtual room with others like me, going through the bankruptcy process. I watched a man on Zoom explain himself and his reason for going bankrupt while driving a vehicle, the topper was he lost service and disconnected mid explanation. The trustee’s face was priceless.

I was under oath and had to raise my right hand and tell the truth about my situation as quickly as possible. When it was my turn to explain everything it was over in less than five minutes. Most people just went on and on about what they did wrong and how they would not do it again.

I just said a brief response that went something along the lines like, “I lost my income due to the Covid-19 pandemic and since then I have not been able to recover financially.”

That was all he needed to hear and we moved on to the next questions, soon after he wished me luck and called the next person.

That was it. It happened so fast and no creditors showed up to argue my case. The next step was waiting a mandatory 60 days for any objections by the creditors or trustee.

And then I received an email from my lawyer that the bankruptcy case has concluded. I’ve been officially discharged. It took about four months to complete the process based on my situation. A new chance at life again and doing things the right way for once and for all.

A new start. That’s all I’ve wanted since the middle of the year 2020 and I am getting what I worked hard for. This time I am going to appreciate it.

I never thought that I would someday end up going bankrupt in my early thirties, but here we are.

And now it’s all over and I’m already rebuilding credit. I can now close this part of my life out and wear my new redo-at-credit hat with responsible style.

I wish that it would of turned out differently. I wish I could of saved myself from admitting defeat earlier but I just kept drowning.

But now I get my second chance at life. I may have ten years of punishment, but I am willing to prove myself.